"But he doesn't 'look' autistic..."

Some people say to me "but he doesn't 'look' autistic"....

Here is a story of how Lex struggles:
This weekend we were supposed to travel to Long Island to attend multiple functions (or as Lex called it, "a ceremony, a party and a birthday party") and spend some time with our family.

Unfortunately, yesterday, while I was home nursing a migraine, I got a call from his school nurse saying Lex had a low grade fever and just didn't seem like himself. So like the over-protective mother I am, I went and picked him up early and brought him home.
He seemed ok for most of the day and night, but right before he hunkered down for the night, I gave him his last dose of Tylenol and some water. All of a sudden I watched him veer into the bathroom instead of his bedroom. What had gone down had promptly come back up, along with his dinner. The poor kid was miserable and his fever was back. I eventually got him to sleep with the understanding that if his fever persisted in the morning, we wouldn't be going to Long Island, as his grandparents were babysitting his little cousin for the weekend and he certainly didn't want to get her sick, or any of the other kids we were planning to see.
Fast forward to this morning. I got little sleep as I kept waking to check on him. He awoke this morning feeling much better and with no fever around 7 am. I thought we were golden and started packing bags and getting ready to go. It was around 9 am when I decided to check his temp again before I got him dressed. And then the hammer fell. His temp was back up to 100. I watched his face fall as I told him his fever was back and we wouldn't be able to go. I explained again about being a responsible older cousin and friend and how I was sure he didn't want to get anyone else sick. He agreed and even though I knew he was upset, he perked right up when I told him that he could have some extra iPad time since the best way to recover is to rest and take it easy.

Everything sounds great, right? You think my story is over, but it's not. This is where his autism comes into play. Around 1 pm, I hear crying coming from his room. I head in to see what's going on. He's standing in the corner with tears streaming down his face. I ask him why he's so upset and he says to me "Momma, I have a plan. I feel better. We can go to New York now or Yiayia and Papou can come here. Is that a good compromise?"  (Yiayia and Papou are Greek for grandma and grandpa). This poor child thought that we weren't going to NY because he thought his getting sick equated with a punishment. He commonly uses the compromise/"I have a plan" speak when he is in trouble and wants to get out of it. So for the next ten minutes I had to try to convince him that he did nothing wrong and that the only reason we weren't going to NY was because we didn't want anyone else to get sick. He kept telling me he couldn't calm down because he was too upset. I felt horrible and I tried to comfort him the best I could. I ended up using my last-ditch diversion technique that I save for bad meltdowns like this, which is a stash of new preferred toys/items in another room to divert his attention. Luckily, it worked and the sadness and depression was quelled.

I share stories like these so people can be more aware of what our life is like behind our closed doors. Life isn't always big cheesy smiles and funny stories. Sometimes, they include randomly finding my son crying in his room and knowing how to deal with it. I share so people can see that my son is a sensitive, loving child, who isn't perfect, but he tries so damn hard every day at everything he does. I love him in the happy times and in the sad times. Today was a rough day. But i wouldn't trade it for anything, because it's a day with Lex. And Lex is my everything.

Sorry, but your kid isn't like my kid

I can't tell you how many times I've heard this phrase: "my kid is just like your kid".

No. I'm sorry, but no.

Unless your kid is autistic, your kid is NOTHING like my kid. I know Lex sometimes talks, acts and behaves "typically" in front of you, and the stories I tell you may have you believe this, but you are wrong. I give you a snapshot of maybe 10% of his life. If you do not live with me or his father, you cannot begin to understand what he is truly like and therefore, cannot compare your child to mine.

Let me take another stab at this.

Has your child been invited to a birthday party from a schoolmate this year? If so, our kids are nothing alike.

Does your child get singled out on the playground for their preference to play by themselves? No?

Do you have to....you know what? I'm not going to continue. I made my point. It's insulting to parents of special needs children to try to tell us that our kids don't go through anything different than typical children. Because trust us. We WISH this was the truth. We wish our kids were just like yours are. But that's just not the way it is.

The point of this post is that sometimes it's best to keep your opinions to yourself. I lost a friend over a conversation that went something like this. I got accused of using Lex's autism as an excuse. Yup. Chew on that one for a minute.

A Guide To Social Media (A Satirical Blog Post)

Using Social Media Platforms (Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram, etc...) can be scary, so I'm here to help! Here are some tips I've learned through my years of online experience on how to use Social Media most effectively:

1) Make sure to post the same thing on every Social Platform. Someone might miss it if you don't!

2) When posting a "selfie", use filters. Make sure to eliminate any trace of blemishes, this way when people meet you, they will totally be able to recognize yo....oh...wait...

3) Ask celebrities to retweet you constantly on Twitter. They TOTALLY love that!

4) Send Facebook game requests to your friends who don't play them. This will encourage them to join you! If they don't respond the first or second time, send it three or four more times.

5) Snapchat filters and stickers are so much fun! Make sure to use them all the time and even use them outside of Snapchat! Babies love them too!

6) GoFundMe is a great way to get people to give you money for stuff you are too lazy to save up for yourself. Write up a great story about that trip to Disney you always wanted to go on or how you always wanted those calf implants.

7) If using Twitter to promote your business or blog, make sure to complain every time your tweets don't get retweeted or liked. People/Customers love seeing that. Also, no need to have separate business/personal accounts. They will be able to figure out which tweets are which.

8) Use Facebook and Twitter as your personal diary. Never be afraid of sharing too much. There is no such thing as TMI.

9) If you are a parent, please make sure to document every single moment of your child's life! Nothing is too embarrassing! Those kids will grow up and laugh! (we think)

10) Students love to trash their teachers, why not online, right?! No one will ever figure out it's you.

11) Sub-tweet or Vaguebook. All. The. Time.

12) Humblebrag about yourself. People know deep down you are really modest.

13) Change your username on Twitter/Instagram/Snapchat every week. People love the mystery.

14) Invite people to everything using Facebook Invites. Hardcopy invitations are so 2010.

15) Use one of those "following me"/"unfollowing me" programs on Twitter and have it post to your account every day so we can all find out how many people followed/unfollowed you every day!

16) Keep your accounts public, even if your company could potentially be watching your social media accounts. No one cares what you say!

17) If you don't trust your significant other, share a Facebook account with them. That's sure to keep them honest!

18) Live tweet TV shows without using hashtags. No one really uses that mute function anyway and people really like your recaps!

19) Don't filter yourself. Say whatever comes to your mind.

20) And last but not least, don't ever delete your MySpace account! Tom would miss you too much!

(Disclaimer...I am writing this as a satirical blog post. Which means that I'm poking fun. At me. At you. At people we know.I have done all of these things at one point or another. Don't take this blog post seriously. It's called satire for a reason. I'm trying to make you laugh.)

We all knew my voice was loud...but this time it was worth it.

This blog posting is a follow up to my blog posting of May 7th, regarding my local franchise Red Robin's decision to serve a different pasta than the spaghetti they had pictured on their kid's menu:

After sharing my blog post for two days, Red Robin contacted me via Twitter Direct Message Wednesday night asking if I had heard from the executive management of the franchise that I had the issue with, as they had been trying to reach me. As the number I had give them was my work number, I let them know that I hadn't heard from them yet, and there were probably messages waiting for me as I was away from my desk most of the day.

Upon returning to the office on Thursday, I retrieved three messages from the Executive Vice President / Operating Manager of the local franchise. The messages were apologetic in nature and expressed a sincere need to want to talk to me. She left me her personal cell phone number and asked me to contact her at my earliest convenience. I called her back and left a message.

She shortly returned my phone call and our conversation commenced. She immediately apologized for the strife that Lex and I encountered. She explained that she decided to make the decision herself to change out the pasta in all of her 7 franchise restaurants because she considered the cavatelli pasta to be a higher quality pasta than the spaghetti. One thing that I didn't know is that she made this decision around six or seven years ago. She fully admitted that she never thought of the consequences of substituting the pasta without informing the customers until she heard about my complaint. It was also mentioned that it would have been smart to maybe have the servers tell the children when they ordered the spaghetti that they would actually be getting a different pasta. But hindsight is 50/50.

She said that once she heard about the impact that the "bait and switch" would have on children with autism, she said she knew my complaint made sense, as she knows children who are affected which autism spectrum disorders and could see how that would cause discomfort.

She continued to tell me that after speaking to me, the manager of the franchise restaurant that we went to went out on his own and bought boxes of spaghetti to have on hand in case there were children who came in who had the same issue. I was surprised to hear this, as one of the things that he told me was that he wasn't "allowed" to do this.

But now for the good news.

I was informed that from this week forward, all seven of her franchises will carry spaghetti. The servers have been instructed to offer the children that order the spaghetti the choice of it as pictured or the cavatelli as was being served for the last 6-7 years. I completely understand allowing both choices as some children who are frequent visitors to the restaurant (like my son was) may have come to love that and would be upset to now learn their favorite food is all of a sudden gone.

I was asked for my home address as she wanted to invite Lex and I back as her guests to prove that things have changed. Yes, I'll be back. In fact, I'll be visiting all seven franchise locations. And I'll let you know exactly what happens when Lex orders the spaghetti. Let's all pray that he gets what he orders, because I would really hate to intentionally be inducing a meltdown.

Why We Won't Be Going Back To Red Robin Again

Two weeks ago on a Sunday night, after a long day, my son and I arrived at Red Robin for dinner. This has long been his restaurant of choice because he likes the free balloons and he is able to order for himself because of the "picture" menus.

The "picture" menu is key to this story. One key learning tool for children with autism is the use of Picture Exchange Communication System, or PECS. This is the use of small pictures to be used instead of words to communicate. Kids will exchange them with their therapists in order to get what they need or even "speak". It is the tool that Lex first used to communicate before he started talking.

On this night, Lex strayed from his usual order of pepperoni pizza. He was studying the menu and pointed to the picture of spaghetti and said to me "I want the spaghetti, no sauce, butter."  So when the waitress came, I placed our order and thought nothing more of it.

Our service was spotty that night even thought the restaurant was half full. Finally, a server arrived with our food. As she put it down, I looked at Lex's food. I stopped the waitress and asked her where the food he ordered was, because that obviously wasn't it. She had brought him a bowl full of cavatelli pasta, not spaghetti. She said no, that's what he ordered.  I then asked to see my waitress. While waiting for her, I had to convince Lex to just eat the pasta, even though he knew it wasn't what he ordered. The last thing i wanted was him to have a meltdown in the restaurant over not getting what he was expecting. After some hemming and hawing, he finally caved and started eating. I was so relieved there were no hysterics or issues.

When my waitress finally came over, I asked the same question. She proceeded to tell me that the cavatelli pasta was what the restaurant considered "spaghetti". I pulled out Lex's menu and showed her the picture of the menu item, which clearly showed traditional spaghetti. I asked how they can offer a menu item titled and showing one thing and knowingly serve another. My thought process now was heading towards autistic children. I know many autistic children who simply need to have structure at mealtimes. If you show them a picture (thinking of the PECS system), you pretty much have to give them what is on the picture. Giving them anything else will cause hysterics, crying, meltdowns, etc...  I was lucky this day in that Lex decided he was hungry and would eat after just a little cajoling. I knew that this was not ultimately the waitress' decision so I let it go.

But I wasn't done. I had to find out what was going on.

While I was sitting at the table, I took pictures of the menu item and of Lex's meal and I tweeted them to the Red Robin Twitter account, asking them to tell me how they could justify telling me they were the same. This got their attention. They direct messaged me and by the next week, they had put me in touch with the manager of that restaurant. But the discussion I had with him was even more disappointing.

I recounted my experience with him and was given the following explanation for the replacement of the pasta: It wasn't the restaurant's decision to make the pasta switch and not change the menu.  It was the Corporate Office's. Corporate made the decision to replace the pasta and not change the menu because it was cheaper. So basically, they don't care about false advertising to kids. And in my case, and to all parents of kids with autism, where that could potentially mean a public meltdown, it means we have to deal with managing the emotions of our children, because we aren't important enough. Money is king, you see.

For these reasons, Red Robin has lost two loyal customers. I'm extremely disappointed in the fact that no one seems to care about pulling a "bait and switch" on these children who actually depend on getting what they order.

"Degrading" Doesn't Mean The Same Thing As "Sexist"

*Note: I hesitated to post this for only one reason. I did not want anyone reading this to think I was making a personal attack, mainly because I have great respect for one of the women involved in the group that I speak about. Please keep that in mind when reading this. Thanks. -Alison Faye

Three weeks ago, I was browsing Facebook, as I do just about every night, when I came across a group's page that made me do a double-take, because I couldn't believe what I was seeing. To make you understand why, I need to give you some background information.

The group who's Facebook page I was looking at was a group that was founded to bring together female soccer fans and help expand the visibility of women in the sport. While I am not a member, I applauded their initial goal of trying to raise the view of women in the sport from just "silly fan girls" to educated fans that are equal to men.

Now don't get me wrong...I fan girl. I fan girl all over the place. But I also can be a well educated fan who can sit and talk sports for hours as well as any man (granted, my sport of preference is baseball, not soccer). So, I'm not saying I'm perfect.

The reason I did not decide to join the group is that I noticed that the main account that the group would tweet under seemed to forget its main mission sometimes. It would occasionally tweet extremely odd comments, talking about how great some player looked with his shirt off or who the top five hottest players were on the US Men's team are. To me, these comments are fine for personal accounts, but coming from the official group account, made for a bad taste in my mouth. This screams "fan girl" to me. But again, this is my opinion only.

So flash back to three weeks ago and the Facebook page. Right on the main banner is this phrase in large letters: "Let us blow your mind." Now, I fully admit that I thought at the time that I could have been way out in left field but the first thought that came to my mind was "Is this for real?" All I'm thinking about when reading this is "Let us blow your mind instead of your...well, you know..." So I did what any normal person would do. I asked three other people for their opinions. And shockingly, they all said the exact same thing I did. That it made them think that they were being offered an alternative to a blowjob.

I felt that for this group, that claims their mission is to elevate the status of women in the sport of soccer, posting this phrase was possibly unintentionally degrading to women. I also felt it would behoove me to let the founders of the group know how it made me feel because it was obvious from talking to others that I was not the only one who made that connection. I decided to contact the founders of the group through their contact form on their group website. I described exactly as I did above, stating that I thought they might be unintentionally degrading women, and I knew that this was not their mission. I hoped that my notifying them would be received positively and with the knowledge that I was just trying to help promote their mission.

Fast forward a week and a half. No response has been received. No change was made to the Facebook site. Basically, I'm sitting here thinking one of the founders got my email and filed it in the round filing bin. Which now just pisses me off. It's about this time that one of the new women's soccer teams, the Portland Thorns, released a t-shirt with a slogan that read "Feeling Thorny?". The group's Twitter account tweeted asking what people thought about this. To my boyfriend's credit, he wasn't going to let the fact that they ignored my email slide, so he replied, asking if it was better or worse than the phrase on their Facebook page. The group replied that they forgot that they got a "sexist complaint" about it.

In no way did I EVER say that what they wrote was sexist. I used the word degrading. The two words mean something completely different. Being sexist means you foster discrimination based on gender. Being degrading means that something lacks honor or causes humiliation. In their conversation, the group account continues to use the word sexist, even though my boyfriend tried to point out that they had missed the point of possibly projecting the wrong image.

Fast forward another week and a half. Nothing has changed. Still no response. Phrase is still there. Hence the blog post. I didn't want to write this because it is a touchy situation with those involved. But I don't deal well with the degradation of women as a whole. And I deal worse with having my words misconstrued to make it seem like I'm ignorant.

All I did was try to help. If they don't want to take down the phrase, fine, that is their prerogative. But the polite thing to do is reply and say "Thank you, but we are ok with it." It isn't that difficult. Ignoring me is just plain rude.

I Owe You A Thank You

After a recent unprovoked attack by a little known acquaintance, I realized something important. I don't say thank you enough. So here goes:

Thank you to all of you. Every one of you that reads this blog. You do something for me that you may not even realize. You support me in a way that I need more now than ever. You give me an outlet. Writing about my struggles with my son's autism allows me to release the stress that I used to keep bottled up inside me. You see, once I write about something that happens, it's pretty much forgotten about and my blood pressure drops and I feel so much better.

Having a support system is a very important thing. People who don't have anyone there to turn to tend to lash out at others when they get stressed out. They can be mean to others when they feel overwhelmed in their own lives. They sometimes use the stress that they feel welling up inside them as an excuse to take it out on someone else who might be in their path at that given moment. But you see, I don't want to be that person.  I want to set a better example for my son. I want to take the higher road.

Thank you for taking the five or ten minutes to read what I write every time I have something happen in my life, whether it is good or bad, and I find the need to tell someone about it. Thank you for sharing the ups and downs in my and my son's life. Thank you for caring enough about us to take the time out of your day to selflessly read about us. I know that sometimes I can be "preachy" and sometimes I can be overly emotional. But hey, that's me. So from the bottom of my heart, and Lex's, thank you.

And besides, who doesn't love this face?

I cried tonight

Today I took my son Lex to the Yankees game. I won't lie, I was so excited. For the first time, he was excited to go. When I asked him a few days ago if he wanted to go to the game, he actually said yes. Usually, he would say no and whine until I would psych him up for it. So I was beyond excited.

You see, baseball, specifically the New York Yankees, is my number one past time. I love going to games. Watching the games. Listening to games. And right now they are in the hunt for a playoff spot. So I was thrilled to be taking him today to the game and have him actually look forward to it. Not only was I taking my son to the game, but my boyfriend Chris was also going (who admittedly does not enjoy the game, as he is a Brit and is a soccer (excuse me, football) fan) and my parents as well.

But it was not meant to be. Not even two pitches in and Lex was already not interested in the game. Within a half inning he was bored. Didn't want to be there. After an inning he asked to leave. It was all I could do to not cry right there. But I just tried to keep him occupied and happy. My mom took him for a walk, bought him some ice cream. Then Chris and I took him to the museum but it wasn't really doing any good. He wanted to leave. I got to see a few friends while we were there, which was nice, and they got to see Lex, which is always great.  But we left right as the fifth inning ended. Lex saw maybe an inning or two.

On the drive home, I tried really hard not to cry. A few tears escaped as I explained to Chris that I was sad because I thought we had finally turned a corner because Lex had shown interest in going to the game. But it was just not so. I shook it off and gathered my composure.

But after I got home and put him to bed, I sat down and cried. I had really been looking forward to this. I had a bad few weeks. All I wanted was to enjoy a few innings of my favorite thing in the world with my son. But it just wasn't meant to be.

Hopefully next time it will be better. I may be disappointed, but I don't give up. And neither does Lex.

Strangers Can Make Make Your Day Or Break It

In the last few months, there were two things that happened that affected my and my son Lex's life dramatically, one in a negative way and one in a positive way. Since I'm always "preaching" about awareness, I would like to share these with you so you can see how something that a stranger did changed the outlook of a day (or more than a day) for us. 

The Negative:

I took my son shopping at Target a few months ago, which is his favorite store due to our tradition of buying a bag of popcorn upon entering. Unfortunately, after about 10 minutes of shopping, he got agitated and started to have a mini-meltdown in the shoes area. As I have learned to do, I talked to him to calm him down and after about 3 minutes he stopped crying. I was rather proud of myself for getting him calmed down in such a short amount of time until I noticed this woman staring at us. 

The woman proceeded to walk over to us and, completely unprompted, asked me "What's wrong with him?" with a disgusted look on her face. I was mortified that someone would have the audacity to not only say that but to boldly come up to me without knowing me. So I replied "Nothing. What's wrong with you?" Needless to say, she didn't like that. And I just walked away before I did something I regretted or didn't want Lex to see.

Now, many people have said to me, "Oh, maybe she didn't mean it in a rude way." Trust me. I was there and I saw the look she gave my son. I have seen it a million times. I also won't lie and say that I walked away because I was the bigger person. No, I walked away because I was afraid I was going to start screaming at the woman or give her a lecture on autism and not judging people if you don't know them.

The moral of me telling this story is this: Think before you speak. Especially when it comes to parents and their children. Your words can cut right to the quick and hurt more than you can ever know. 

The Positive:

A few months ago, Lex was battling one of his many colds / illnesses that he gets at the changing of the seasons. As I have described before, he loves his 'pushbutton' (the iPod Touch) and uses it pretty much every night in bed. One night, I heard Lex start hysterical crying in bed so I ran in to find out what was wrong. Lex had gotten sick in bed but that wasn't what he was crying about. He had gotten sick on his beloved 'pushbutton' and the screen had gone black. He was absolutely inconsolable. And for that matter, so was I. He cried and cried and cried and kept saying "Mommy can fix it!". Except I couldn't.

So as with everything that I do, my first thought was "maybe someone on Twitter will know how I can fix it". So I started barraging Twitter with tweets asking for help. I followed every piece of advice I got. But to no avail. The iPod was deader than dead. And I was facing nights of Lex crying, asking for his 'pushbutton'. This was a nightmare, as this iPod Touch cost me $400 and I didn't have the money to replace it. 

I had talked about my son's love for his 'pushbutton' in a previous blog posting, so when I tweeted that it was dead, my Twitter 'friends' knew of my plight and understood my complete devastation. 

But that's when the unbelievable happened. 

One of my Twitter friends, a woman named Sascha, sent me a Direct Message. She told me that she was upgrading to a new piece of technology and would like to donate her current iPod Touch to Lex. The super amazing part? I have never met Sascha in person. She lives in England and we have only communicated via Twitter. After protesting for a day, Sascha insisted that she be allowed to send the iPod to Lex and I finally relented. The day that Lex got a package in the mail and opened it was one of the happiest in both of our lives. 

I would also like to note that Sascha wasn't the only person to volunteer to donate to send their used iPod's to Lex. I also got two other offers after hers. Both from people I had never met in person. How is that for 'kindness from strangers'?!

What I would like you to take away from this blog post is this: Just because you are a stranger, doesn't mean you can't affect someone's life. Either positively or negatively. 

I Wonder What People Know About Autism

A few weeks ago, I was sitting here thinking “I sit here and talk about how I want to educate people about autism, but I wonder, what do they already think about it?” So rather than sit and think some more, I took action, put together a short list of four questions and posed them to my friends and family (and some random “tweeps”) on Twitter and Facebook. This blog post compiles their responses to those questions and my responses and comments to some questions/answers that were gathered. I’d like to first thank everyone who participated (over 20 people) and gave permission for me to use their comments.

My first question was:

“1. Do you know someone who is autistic? a. If so, what is the age of that person?”

I was pleased to see that the majority of the answers to this question was that yes, most people knew someone who was autistic (82%). Even more surprising was the number of adult autistic people that people were familiar with (8). The diagnosis of autism prior to the last ten years was not as common as it has become lately, so this was rather surprising for me to see. The average age of those known were teenagers, with the youngest being 4 and the oldest being in the late 40's.

The second question asked was:

“2. What percentage of children today do you think are diagnosed with autism? (no looking it up!)”

Out of 22 respondents, 6 people got this answer correct (or close enough to correct that I gave them credit), which is just less than 1%, or 1 in 110 children. The surprising part of this question for me was that of all those surveyed, 50% of the answers thought that more than 10% of all children born today were diagnosed with autism.

While the first two questions were more about facts, the last two are more about interpretation and personal experience. This is where I really asked people to be honest and I got what I asked for (and appreciated it more than you know).

The third question I asked was:

“In your own words, what does “autism” mean to you?”

The response I liked the best was “Someone who is highly intelligent but sometimes 'in their own world,' making it hard for them to concentrate, interact with others, and be considered socially 'normal' (air quotes intended)”.

Some people put their own personal spin on the question (which is just what I asked for):

“To me autism means someone who sees the world a little differently, someone who notices the details that other people look past and someone who likes things to be a certain way. Someone who may be a little awkward with other people but someone who rewards you by giving back 10 times more love and friendship when you make that little extra effort to get to know them.”

“To me autism means different behaviors for each individual. it does mean that each individual is not functional, it just means that they have a different learning style. Some are more vocal than others, while some have repetitive behavior. It also means preparation to me. It is quite common that a child with autism is unable to be gainfully employed, to have a relationship, and may need some assistance in monitoring their funds for future use, with access to state assisted programs.”

“Autism means to me a person that just has a missing link. Most of the children I have known in the past are highly intelligent. They just have a hard time socially.”

One friend was honest in the fact that they weren’t always sure that they knew that “normal” children were like: “Honestly, I don't know how to articulate it. As someone who's never been a fan of small, colorful children, I find that I'm oddly more comfortable with autistic kids even though I have no idea what I'm getting myself into most times. Or rather, what's going to come my way at any given time. But maybe that's just me getting older and more laid back with kids.”

Some more clinical definitions: “Autism is a socio-developmental disorder characterized by an inability or difficulty in effective, meaningful communication with others, coupled with repetitive behavior patterns.”

“Autism is a disorder that primarily affects communication and interaction, may also be accompanied by speech delay and/or other developmental delays and by sensory sensitivities, and which affects the ability to function to varying extents and degrees.“

“The person's brain is wired in such a way so that they do not interact with society in the way the majority people would.”

“Autism is a disorder which affects the learning and development of someone. Someone can be autistic but be high functioning but it could also really affect them.”

One person explains about the differences in the spectrum: “I know “autism” is broad and covers a whole spectrum. There’s “high-functioning”, which are the folks who can speak and learn new tasks differently from the rest of us. But when I hear “autism”, I generally think of those who are ritualistic and fixated on certain objects or subject areas and have a very strict method for doing things. For example, the 6-year-old I mentioned earlier has a very specific way of putting his toys away. It consists of a pile and there’s a method to how the toys get stacked in that pile. It can be very time consuming for him and his mother, but it’s part of his nightly ritual.”

Simply put: “To me it signifies problems with communication and relating emotionally.”

Some positive perspectives were also given:

“Autism means a person who has some learning difficulties and social interactions may be difficult for them, I view autism as an additional obstacle but not necessarily one that can not be over come.”

“Children who react to over-stimulation by withdrawing within themselves but who may have a special skill set that takes some time to show.”

“I don't look at something is wrong with them. I just look at as they see the world differently.”

“I've never thought about that. I was raised to believe that everyone is the same but some of us 'learn' at a different pace.”

One respondent noted that “It is a very disturbing trend that seems to be growing larger.”

An interesting observation was made by one person in that: “"Autism" means to me someone that is quiet, and has problems communicating with others. A person who prefers to do activities by themselves rather than in groups. This can be both Adult and children. I do not think "Autism" has age limits.”

The last question I asked was a selfish one:

“4. Give an example of something you could do to help out a parent of an autistic child.”

I asked this question because as a parent of an autistic child, sometimes there is nothing more I would love than for someone to acknowledge that my son DOES face obstacles. And you know what? It’s damn exhausting as a parent. Any parent of a special needs child, no matter what that child has, will tell you that. I know that I’m lucky because my son is highly functioning and is relatively a good kid, but catch me on a day when he’s having a rough time and you probably wouldn’t recognize me. A bad day for him equals a horrendous day for me. So I asked this question to educate the masses.

Take the time to read the answers. The next time you have a free night and can spare it, take one of these ideas and put it into motion for someone you know. Trust me, the person who’s life you touch will thank you a million times for that little thought of kindness.

“For some parents I babysit and hang out with the child. For those I am not close with I can assist in obtaining state benefits, especially title XIX for older children, and Special needs Trusts for younger children so they are capable of living a full long life taking some of the stress from the parent.”

“Not look at that parent and just think they don't know how to discipline their child. Every child deserves to be at a restaurant, church, carnival. Some children have a hard time with these situations, but we can smile at the parent and be proud of them that they expose their child to all the wonders that they deserve!!”

“I have invited parents of autistic kids to speak to my police officers to help them understand how to handle calls with them better. This also gives the parents a better understanding on how we operate.”

“I would try to help by learning more about that parent's routine and redirection methods, and engaging both the parent and child regardless of the behavioral context or situation.”

“Listen and offer support. Know it isn't always easy and that they may be focused on other things.”

“Depending on the situation:

me as a non parent: treat the child as a human for a start - not as a moving doll, have more patience with them

me as a parent with a child the same age: encourage my child to play with him, to have more patience with him and to see past any disability.”

“Give them a hug. Offer to help (every parent needs a night off!) Get involved. Learn more about autism.”

“Well, beyond being willing to listen and donating to autism research/charities, I think the most helpful thing one can do is educate themselves. You can't treat any condition without first understanding what it is. While I do think offers to help baby sit and the like are noble, unless one has experience working with autistic children, I feel this could go awry.”

“I think the best you can do for the parent of an autistic child to treat them the same as any other parent, every child has ups and downs, tantrums and their own idiosyncrasies. Being there and listening when they need it just as you would with any friend and making sure that they feel loved and supported when ignorant people judge them.”

“Be there to support the friend, or help when they need something. I have found that people with children, with or with out disabilities or diseases, really just need support and someone willing to help them every now and then.”

“Give them time in their own home so child is comfortable in routine and spell the parents to allow them to get things done.”

“Be understanding. Watch the child once a week so. They can go out and enjoy something.”

“Spend time with the child so that the parent can have some respite. Spend time with the child and the parent, and include them in a fun activity. Make them feel as "normal" as possible.”

“Allow my child to be their child's friend and encourage such friendship.”

“From reading your past blog post I learned it's better to ask questions regarding autism then to assume something.” (THANK YOU!)

“Treat them the same as a parent of any other child (inclusion-wise); ask questions (out of children's earshot) to help gain a better understanding.”

“Listen to them.”

“Learn the different aspects of autism. All autistic children aren't the same. This is something that I never knew. Not every person with autism is Rain Man.”

“I think the most important thing would be support and the willingness to learn more about the effects of autism on both the child and the parent(s).”

“First, better educate myself on "Autism." Then making sure others around that family understands about it also. Next, I would offer support to the parents and family involved. Making sure that they know they are not alone, and there is help for them.”

Thank you for reading this. It means a lot to me. And to Lex. And thank you again to everyone who contributed to the content

The Lure of the Sports Fan's Road Trip

Last year, it was seeing the Yankees play in Chicago against the Cubs.

This year, it's seeing the Yankees play in Kansas City against the Royals.

Hell yes.

Some of you may not understand this. The excitement over spending money to go to a city I'm unfamiliar with, to go to a stadium I've never been in, to watch a team I've seen play day after day, play against a team that's not really anything special (sorry Royals fans) may seem pointless and kind of stupid.

But to anyone who has been on a road trip strictly to watch your favorite sports team play, you get it. You understand my excitement. The thrill of entering a new ballpark that you've never seen. Trying a new "signature" food that you just have to have. Exploring the city in your "non-game" time.

This KC trip is four days long for me, and includes a game every single day. I simply can not wait. The thought of that much baseball in such a compressed amount of time excites me beyond belief. And the fact that I'm going to get to go with my friends just makes me even more excited.

As I'm writing this, I think there are about six of my friends who will be joining me in Kansas City, not counting my girlfriend who I'm staying with. Last year in Chicago, there were over a dozen of us who ended up congregating and enjoying each other's company for baseball, food, sights, and way too much booze. I'm betting this year's trip will be just as much fun as last year's and I can't wait to find out.

I. Can't. Wait.

How To Be Lex's Mom's Friend

One thing I've noticed in the past few years, especially since my son's autism diagnosis, is that I have come to rely on my friends more and more than I ever have. Many people did not realize that right around the time of my son's diagnosis, I also was going through a separation which then lead to divorce. Even less known was that I lost contact with some of my closest friends at this time, due to both of these events.

So here I was, venturing into a new phase of my life, pretty much on my own, with only my family and some old friends to support me. I was lucky enough to meet some new friends though within a short while and this was a very good thing for me, and have grown those friendships into ones that are near and dear to my heart to this day.

This made me stop and think. How can I help people be a better friend to me when it comes to Lex, since my life is a little, well, different? So here we go:

1. Ask me about Autism. I once had a friend tell me "I don't know much about autism, can you tell me if there's anything I need to know before I meet him?" This touched me because that friend actually took the time to let me know that they wanted to make sure that they didn't do anything "wrong". Ask. I will be happy to answer any questions you have. No question is too simple or too complex. If I don't have the answer, there are websites I can direct you to that will help.
2. Ask me about Lex. Ask anyone and they will tell you, I'm insanely in love with my son. I will brag about him from here to the moon. Every little improvement he makes, I would love to tell you about. Just listen. If you know me, I love to talk. I'm a New Yorker, remember?
   
3. Invite us to things. One of the hardest things for me is that Lex doesn't have many friends outside of his daycare. Because both his father and I work, we don't socialize with the other parents in his preschool class and he doesn't get invited for playdates. Upon his diagnosis, I saw a quick decline in our inclusion in social events. Nothing hurts more than being excluded because people are afraid of something they don't understand, and especially when they take it out on a kid who has no idea that he's the one being punished.
4. Don't assume or generalize. Many people think that Lex won't like something because they heard that autistic kids don't like that. That doesn't work because not all autistic children are the same. There is a autism spectrum and children can fall anywhere upon it, both on the low end and the high end. This means that they can be low or high functioning. Lex is actually on the low end of the spectrum which means he is high functioning.
   
5. Please don't tell me you are sorry. I don't need your pity. I need your love and support. I'm proud of my son. The strides he has made with the challenges he has faced are pretty simply amazing.
   
6. Be understanding if I don't see you often. I may not always have free time, but when I do, I love to live it up and get out. If you have spent any time with me, you definitely know this. But when I'm home with Lex, it's all about Lex. I like to plan fun things to do with him, but my motto is that if Lex is here, "it's always about Lex". I don't have a babysitter here in CT, so I spend a lot of time home in front of my computer at night, hence my Twitter "family".

I'm sure there is more, but for now, that's all I can think of. I love my friends and my family. You all mean the world to me. And maybe this will help me expand that world just a little bit more.

Lex and I welcome you to our world. And to put it simply - it rocks.

Lex and the "Pushbutton"

After watching the 60 Minutes segment last night on "Apps for Autism", I realized how happy I am for the invention of the touchscreen iPod/iPhone/iPad suite of products and what a difference it has made to the Autism community as a whole.

The story about the young man with autism using the iPad to use PECS (Picture Exchange Communication System) to communicate when he used to be non verbal touched me dramatically. Lex's second form of communication (first was sign language) was using the PECS pictures. His therapists who came to daycare, twenty hours a week from the age of two to three, laminated approximately 50-70 different pictures and velcro'd them in a book to make him communicate his wants and needs and he took to it like a fish to water. It made us realize that he knew a lot more than we actually thought he did. It was the first time he was able to tell us specifically what he needed (such as a specific food or drink or what he wanted to play with).

Watching the segment, the thing that caught my attention and hit home the most was the focus on the inability of autistic children and adults to look people in the eyes when communicating with them. This is one of Lex's main issues that I try very hard to work with him on. With the use of the iPhone, Lex and I use the FaceTime program to video chat with my parents every other day. When we started using the phone for this about ten months ago, Lex would never look at the phone. While he still isn't looking at them 100%, he is much less distracted now and will occasionally make eye contact. He will always do so though if he knows that they are watching him perform a task, such as pouring water over his head in the bathtub which makes them laugh, and will always watch for their reaction.

The comments that the therapists and parents made on the segment about how autistic children had the vocabulary but just couldn't share it also rang true. The use of the iPad to help bring out that knowledge was eye opening for some that watched the program that I talked to. At school, Lex gets 9-12 new vocabulary words a week, along with a picture to associate with the written word. At the end of the school year last year, I decided to test Lex on all of his vocabulary words, which were over 350 words. Not only did he know every one of them, he could use them in associated manners, such as "The helicopter flies in the sky" and "the bus drives in the road". This from a kid who at two years old could say 7 words. Seven.

The use of iPads for school children was also focused on, and there was a bit of discussion on the difference between the kids being fascinated by the technology and actually learning to communicate. Personally, I think that if the children are showing enthusiasm and a tendency to work more if using the iPads, then it is totally worth the investment. I hope that more programs embrace the implementing of technology in the classroom and that more non-profits start donating iPads to schools because we all know that there is a big issue with budget, even for special needs programs.

Two years ago, I won a charity auction for a iPod touch, thinking how I'd love to have this cool new technology. Little did I know that a month after I brought it home, my son would commandeer it. From the minute he got his hands on it, he was obsessed. I realized quickly not only did he teach himself how to open the apps, but also how to get back to the home screen and flip back and forth between pages. I quickly searched for educational apps for him and loaded them up for him. Then I just sat back and watched in amazement. The kid just taught himself everything. To this day, I have never taught him how to use one app on the iPod. From tangrams to Angry Birds to Flash Cards to Piano Teacher....he's mastered them all (including Angry Birds, he kicks my ass). For fun, he watches educational videos on YouTube, using the "Favorites" category to mark his Thomas the Tank Engine sing a longs and random Japanese Sesame Street dubbed episodes (don't ask me how he finds them, but they make him laugh hysterically and he loves watching it).

So whenever you hear me joke about Lex asking for the "pushbutton", now you might understand a bit better about the benefits these types of technology can have for kids and adults like him. Any way to make communication happen is a wonderful thing for these people who previously were "lost" to the world. Donate to your schools if you can. Find out if they have iPads and if they do, donate an iTunes gift card because "Apps for Autism" aren't cheap. The PECS app alone is $185.

As always, thanks for reading.

Focusing on the Positive

No, I'm not going to rehash the last 24 hours. It's not worth it. Instead, I'm going to write about the outpouring of love and support I have received from family and friends.

Believe it or not, I always had trouble making close friends. I have two girlfriends that I grew up with that to this day I still consider my best friends. My church friends that I grew up with are also extremely important to me, even though I don't get to see them very often. I have my college friends, and my extended college friends known as my Worcester friends. I don't have many friends at work, save for a few, including one who I call my best friend I never see. And now I have the group that I call my "Twitter" friends, even though the majority of them I now actually KNOW in real life.

And then there is my family, which includes my immediate family, my extended family and my "not really" family, which includes people who have known me since I was born. Most of us are Greek. This means we are in each others business all the time. And that's the way it is and we all love it.

I have NEVER, EVER experienced a level of friendship and love than I have in the last few months. First, after a post I wrote in honor of Autism Awareness month, regarding my journey with my son. The second, was after a second blog post about a rough weekend I had. The last, and most touching, was after a personal attack.

Between Twitter, text messages and Facebook, I have seen the love that people have for Lex and I. From comments about how I'm a great mom to how people know that Lex is a wonderful little boy. I've been through a lot the past few years. I had some highs and lows. And boy, did I have my lows. But things are finally coming around. And I don't care what anyone else says, I could not have done it without support. Support from all of you.

I hope you know that I appreciate everything that you have done for me. It may have been something as simple as introduce me to geeky TV shows that you know I'd love, or telling me I'll never spend a birthday alone again. It could have been telling me that you won't feel bad for me because you know that there is nothing wrong with my son. It was you inviting me to a concert or a baseball game. Including me in your plans with other people. Taking a chance on a new friend. Having your son tell me that he thinks of Lex as a little brother. Asking about your godson. Telling me that you are proud of how good a mother I am. Sending me info about the newest Autism research, products and ideas for helping Lex. Donating to Autism causes in Lex's name or just supporting Autism research in general. Telling me that you are so glad we became friends. Letting me know every day how much you love me. And Lex.

This is only a short list. There is so much more. But I'll run out of room if I put it all down.

With all the negative in the last week, I decided that it was a waste of my time to dwell on it anymore. Negativity breeds negativity. I'm done with that. I'm focusing on the positive. And that positive is all of you. Thank you.

It's your loss. Not ours.

Not once.

Not twice.

But three times in two days.

That's how many times someone said something hurtful about Lex without being aware of who Lex is.

The first incident pretty much killed any fun I might have had at my home church's Greek festival this weekend. Lex was absolutely loving the rides at the festival. My kid has no fear. He went on anything he was tall enough to ride and was upset at those he wasn't allowed to go on. On one of the rides, a simple merry go round of cars and motorcycles, Lex chose to ride a cool bike. The operator of the ride came over and told him "No standing up and no dragging your feet." I quickly tried to reiterate these facts to Lex, knowing he may not have been paying attention. The ride started and Lex was loving it. In his excitement, he stood up, still tethered on, only 3 inches off the seat. I saw this and immediately yelled at him to sit down. I then walked over to the operator to tell him that Lex is autistic and may not understand the instructions, in order to make the operator understand that Lex wasn't purposely disobeying his request. I understand that Lex didn't follow the rules, but what happened next blew my mind. The operator said with obvious disdain "That's no excuse."

The second incident happened this morning in Ikea, which for some reason is Lex's absolute favorite store. I think it's because of the bright colors and open floor plan that welcomes trying out all the furniture. We were walking around the marketplace, so instead of running around, Lex was in the cart. Lex saw an elevator and wanted to go up it. I explained to him that there was a yellow tape across it which meant it was broken. In his little boy "my mommy can fix everything" voice, he said "So fix it!" I tried explaining that I couldn't and he got upset and started to have a meltdown. While I was trying to calm him down and explain, there was a couple behind me who were talking to each other in Greek. From the phrases I was able to interpret, I made out some not so nice things they were saying about Lex and myself. There is only one way to interpret "bad child". And the tone that everything was said in was absolutely like you would expect when badmouthing someone, but thinking they have no idea what you are saying. When I had finally had enough, I turned around, looked them square in the eye and said "Signomi?!" which in Greek means "excuse me". They were completely flustered and stalked off in the opposite direction.

The last episode happened tonight at dinner. This is my last day with Lex for a few days, as I'm off on a business trip tomorrow to Montreal, so I took him out to eat. We went to our favorite local restaurant where the waitresses all know us by face and name. Lex and I sat down, we talked about what we were going to eat, and we were both in good spirits. After we ordered and got our drinks, he asked me for the "push button" which is what he calls my iPod. I eagerly gave it to him, as I know that can keep him quiet and happy. I have it loaded with educational games, some fun Sesame Street videos and of course, lots of Thomas the Tank Engine episodes. At the table across from us, I hear a woman sitting with her husband comment about how I gave my son "some game to shut him up so I wouldn't have to deal with him." She went on to talk about me and my apparently appalling parenting skills. She also commented on how I was trying to get the Yankees game on the tv (the waitress gave me the remote because she knew I wanted to watch). At this point, I swear, I just about had it. I was ready to stand up and just start yelling. But believe it or not, I used Twitter as my outlet and cooler heads prevailed. Our food came and Lex ate like a champ, which doesn't always happen.

But this time, revenge was sweet. Another waitress came over, one of the owner's daughters, and said to me "I can't believe how big he is! And what a good boy he has been tonight! Way to eat all your food, Lex!!" I turned and looked DIRECTLY at the ignorant woman and said "Yeah, for an autistic kid, he's pretty awesome." I swear, her jaw dropped to the floor at my brazenly directed comment to her. Not 5 minutes later, she asked for the check and they were out the door, with half their food still on their plates.

So why did I write this, other than obviously needing to get it off my chest?

It's all about awareness, people.

My brother had some bracelets made and gave me one last night. It's a simple white bracelet. On the outside it says "Autism Awareness" and "Hope". On the inside, it has my son's name. Just be aware. Think before you comment on someone else's child. You may not know the whole story. And chances are, that other person heard you. If I was a weaker person, this could have sent me into hysterics. But the sad part is, it happens all the time. But don't be fooled, I hurt. Sometimes worse than I may let on. But that's why I don't hide my son's diagnosis. I try to educate where I can.

And as I tweeted my final words on Twitter on the subject, I will copy them here:

"It comes down to this. My kid is awesome in his own way. If you don't get to experience that, it's your loss. Not ours."

(A special thank you to those of you who supported me through these incidents. Your support meant more than you may know.)

7 words

"7 words."

This was my answer when the pediatrician asked me at Lex's 2 year old check up how many words he knew. He then proceeded to tell me that he should have 200 words. I had no idea there was any issue, as Lex is a happy kid, and never really complained. So this prompted more questions and concerns. After a few consultations with experts, a conclusion was reached.

My son has a severe speech delay and is mildly autistic.

And I thank God every day that this conclusion was reached.

Because of the diagnosis, my son is eligible for special education services from the State. Being under the age of three at the time of diagnosis allowed him to receive 20 hours of speech therapy at daycare a week. And the State covered most of the cost. His diagnosis also granted him the opportunity to attend school the DAY he turned three years old. And not just a few hours a week. He takes the "big bus" with his friends from daycare and attends almost an entire day. He gets half a day of inclusion with "typical" children and other special needs kids in a preschool classroom and half a day of one on one speech and other types of therapy.

Where he lays on the spectrum, I'm not positive, as everything seems to improve as his speech improves. I am blessed to have a family that supports and accepts him, as well as many friends and loved ones who love him like I do. My parents and brother attend Autism fundraising events in NY whenever they can. My son's father and I volunteer for different events around us. I have a girlfriend with a son also on the Spectrum who always lets me know about anything new that she learns that her son responds well to. I have family members that also have children on the Spectrum who helped me through the initial diagnosis by answering all my questions and offering non-judgemental advice.

Life isn't always roses with a child on the Spectrum. Tantrums can come quickly, but I have learned how to deal with them (a lollipop can always staunch the crying). He doesn't do well in crowds. A visit to church on Palm Sunday turned into a disaster when a visiting priest didn't understand Lex's discomfort and chastised me for not being able to "control my son".

Pity angers me. My son is autistic. I can say this with no issue. Don't feel bad for me. I accept and embrace it. Don't treat him like a leper. He is a 4 year old boy who just wants to be a kid. While he may not be able to tell you exactly what you want to hear, he can show you. Although these days, the words are coming quicker and more often, which is amazing to see.

I have seen both the negative and positive sides of having a child diagnosed as on the Autism Spectrum.

On one hand, there have been people who have been afraid of this diagnosis, who feel bad for me, who tell me they are sorry, who pity me. To be honest, I feel bad for these people because they tend to shy away from inviting my son and I to their house or invite us to events. They are the ones missing out on Lex's infectious giggles and loving nature. They miss out on his quick bonding with people and his boundless energy. They miss out on his absolute love for all things "Thomas the Tank Engine" and his ability to tell you the names of over 50 trains. It saddens me to think about the friends I have lost because they are not aware of the broadness and intricacies of Autism. It angers me when I think about comments made to me that were meant to be supportive, but were just hurtful. I tried to not take it personally, but I failed. Miserably. I lost many friends who didn't know how to handle my son's diagnosis.

But on the other hand, I have other friends who have not let Lex's diagnosis get in the way of them getting to know him. One of my favorite things I've ever done with my son is taking him to a indoor waterpark resort with my girlfriend Megan and her son, Jack. I have NEVER seen my son get so excited to do something with someone other than me or his father, but "Waterpark Jack" was his best friend for those two days. And at the end of the trip, Jack melted my heart when he said "Lex is a good kid". Those five simple words mean more than he will ever know.

Society is becoming more aware of the abilities and disabilities of people on the Autism Spectrum. I applaud those businesses and organizations that recognize that Autism is a disability. One most forefront in my mind is the Disney Corporation. Before our trip to DisneyWorld this Christmas, I emailed the website asking if they would be able to do anything for my son at the parks, as he does not do well with waiting in lines patiently and quickly becomes frustrated and agitated. They replied by telling me to visit the Customer Assistance office in whatever park we went to first. I did this, and they were happy to offer me a Guest Assistance pass, which allowed us to wait a minimum amount of time on any ride that he wanted to go on, not just for that one day, but for our entire trip. This entitled my son the opportunity to actually enjoy his trip, not have it filled with frustration and angst at the hour long lines. We had a magical trip and my son still talks about wanting to go back on Splash Mountain at least once a week.

Who knows what the future will hold for my son or for Autism as a whole. All I can ask is for one thing. Let my kid be a kid. Don't let his diagnosis change how you look at him. If there is one thing I know for sure, and it is his favorite phrase, my kid loves his mom. And I love him. Autism and all.

"You talkin' to me?!"

First off, a disclaimer: I am writing this during the Yankees/Red Sox game so if there are any curses or cheers thrown in, you understand why...

I recently had a friend tell me that they were going to change the way they conversed on Twitter because of the complaints and unwelcome criticism. I had someone tell me two days ago that I should never curse on Twitter or Facebook. Today, I was indirectly made fun of for cheering for the Yankees in my own way.

Did I miss something? When did it become ok to tell people how to express themselves and how to use their free speech?

I understand that I am a mother and a friend and a daughter and a girlfriend. I understand that my "online" persona is created and molded by the comments I make, pictures I post and conversations I have. I understand that the friends that I keep closest to me make me seem like I'm in a "clique". I understand that people do not agree with everything I have to say and I do not agree with everything I read. I understand that as a trained engineer, my writing skills are horrendous.

And yet, I will change nothing. I will continue to express my opinions, my feelings and my convictions as I see fit. I will continue to curse, make fun of myself and profess my undying love for my friends and family. I will not allow comments that others make about me affect my crazy, disconnected, sometimes geeky thought process.

Why will I continue doing what I do? Because I'm me. If I changed, I'd be doing it for the wrong reasons. No one should change anything about themselves for any reason other than that they are doing it for themselves (and if you disagree with this, that's your right!).

The bottom line is this: I ain't changing shit. Y

ou don't like it? Guess what!?! You have free will! Stop reading my tweets, my blog posts, and my Facebook updates. Chances are...I won't miss you.

Off-season Depression? What's that?!

Every year, starting in late October or early November, a few things happen: it starts to get cold, work starts to get crazy, my blood pressure starts to come back down to normal levels and baseball is over for the season. About 10 years ago, I termed this my "off-season depression". I would count down the days until Pitchers & Catchers reported, pining on any news outlet I could to find some information that related to baseball. This year...not so much.

I spoke in a previous post about the profound difference that I noticed in spending a season with my new Twitter friends. Some had told me that the off-season won't be as boring, but I pooh-pooh'ed that, knowing how insanely bored I get during the winter.

Yeah, I love being wrong.

I had a great offseason. From Thanksgiving Eve dinner (in which someone thinks my mom tried to poison her), to Rangers/Islanders games, there was always something to do and someone to see. More Atlantic City debauchery with the girls and waterpark/aquarium trip with a great friend and our sons. Tweeting my drink order to my favorite bartender and subsequently getting in trouble for it. An early Christmas romantic getaway to a familiar place but a surprisingly new and fantastic B&B. Christmas in DisneyWorld with my son and my parents. Even a "business" trip to NYC which included drinks with my brother and friends, fun french fondue, and a fantastic once-in-a-lifetime foodie-indulgent early Valentine's Day dinner.

It wasn't all fun and games though. A bad car wreck for me which led to "new" car shopping. A crazy snowy winter with over 48 inches of snow in two weeks, including snow causing my brother to not be able to join the rest of us in Florida at Christmas. The loss of a Twitter friend who was so young. Family illnesses and my brother's recent surgery.

But it's not over yet.

Still to come is the best yet. People sending me pictures from FL of my favorite current and former Yankees players that make me swoon. My first invitation to the "boys only" Spring Training trip that my dad and brother take every year, and convincing my girlfriend to come with me. A massive gathering to celebrate the birthday of the Yankees Fan who was taken from everyone who loved him way too early. An invitation to join friends at the Celebrity Chef Tour Dinner supporting the James Beard Foundation being hosted this year at Yankees Stadium with one of my favorite Top Chef personalities.

Not to mention plans for the season, including a Chicago baseball trip to celebrate birthdays and an anniversary, going to see NKOTB at Fenway, a probably unforgettable trip to India, and a promise to my son to go visit "Waterpark Jack" again. That's not counting the Yankees games I'll be going to...

So for the first time in a long time, I can say with all honesty... "What Off-season Depression?!"

For everyone that contributed to this: I love you all and can't thank you enough for being in my life. I don't say that enough.

My First Baseball Season on Twitter - A Thank You

I joined the wonderful world of Twitter a year ago, but in March of this year, I signed back on to try to find some interesting people to follow and have cantankerous discussions with. Needless to say, I got more than I bargained for. After having waded my way through Spring Training with the Yankees and Twitter folk, I found myself having conversations with two women more and more. If you follow me on Twitter, you know who I am talking about, it's no secret. I'll call them S & M for the purpose of mild anonymity (and anyone who knows them will get a kick out of the nickname). S & M have become surprising good friends of mine (yes, in real life) and I constantly am surprised by their wit, humor and good-natured debaucherous personalities. Through these two, I have attached myself to many of their followers and have developed a nice little "TwitterFam" and could not be happier with the new friends I surround myself with and converse with on a daily basis.

Other things I have realized this season is the availability of media personalities on Twitter. I have had a chance to comment, converse and banter with some of the beat writers that I would normally only read about and wonder what they are like. This also goes for on-air personalities and behind the scene minions (no disrespect guys!). The access that Twitter has allowed me to have to these people has really changed the way that I watch the game and my beloved Yankees.

On the other hand though, I have to admit that I was a hypocrite when it comes to the belief that everyone should have the ability to speak your mind and post your opinion. I believe that whatever you have to say should be said, because no one has the right to tell you what to do. But then I went ahead and unfollowed people who did nothing but claim gloom and doom were in store for the entire season. For that, I apologize, because I see now that I judged where I shouldn't have.

While the regular season was fun, especially having Twitter to entertain me while I was on boring business trips and getting advice from S & M when it came to personal decisions, the playoffs were another story. This is where I saw the true heart of the Yankees fans I've been chatting with all year really emerge. "Tweetups" during the season were lots and lots of fun, because nothing cements a friendship like singing in bars, taking trips to Atlantic City, meeting up at games and visiting my favorite Yankees Stadium usher every time I went to a game. But the "Tweetup" we had during the post season was fantastic. Some new friends and some old friends were there and fun was had by all. But again, the outpouring of love for "our" team was rampant and totally uplifting.

And yes, as we all know, the Yankees did not win it all this year. It was a bitter disappointment, but not anything shocking or completely unimaginable. I now find myself suffering through my normal "off-season depression". But believe it or not, Twitter makes it a hell of a lot easier. So this is my "Thank You" to all my followers and those I follow, because this was one hell of a season. Even if the Yankees didn't take the Championship.

But hey, there's always next year...

Top Three: Safeco Field

I had the opportunity to go to Safeco Field while in Seattle for a conference, and all I can say is "WOW". The following are my top three things about it:

3) The food.
No question, I'm a big fan of food, you should already know this. But not only did I get to eat my favorite thing in the world:
but I also got to sample my favorite ballpark fare:
Unfortunately, after I ate, no one wanted to talk to me...oh well, their loss!

2) The views from all over the stadium.
I make it a point when I visit a new stadium to walk the entire stadium, top to bottom. I really love when I know that no matter where the seats are, I'm going to have a fantastic view. There was no exception at Safeco. I completely understood why when my friend Rich went here for the All-Star Game, he said that there was no bad seat in the house.

1) The cost of tickets.
While the fact that my seats were available was amazing to me, the cost is what really shocked me. 2nd row, next to the Mariners dugout. $60. Yes, you read that right, $60. I was face to face before the game with one of the stars of the Mariners:
but really enjoyed a great night watching (unfortunately, the Mariners lost to the Blue Jays that night, but I did get to see fans go apesh*t for Ichiro).

All in all, easily one of my favorite stadiums, from the helpful and polite information guys on their Segways
to the fact that it didn't cost me an arm and a leg to get this close to the players!
And before you ask, you should know that of course, I wore my Yankees jersey (but I rooted for the home team, which garnered me much respect!).