"But he doesn't 'look' autistic..."

Some people say to me "but he doesn't 'look' autistic"....

Here is a story of how Lex struggles:
This weekend we were supposed to travel to Long Island to attend multiple functions (or as Lex called it, "a ceremony, a party and a birthday party") and spend some time with our family.

Unfortunately, yesterday, while I was home nursing a migraine, I got a call from his school nurse saying Lex had a low grade fever and just didn't seem like himself. So like the over-protective mother I am, I went and picked him up early and brought him home.
He seemed ok for most of the day and night, but right before he hunkered down for the night, I gave him his last dose of Tylenol and some water. All of a sudden I watched him veer into the bathroom instead of his bedroom. What had gone down had promptly come back up, along with his dinner. The poor kid was miserable and his fever was back. I eventually got him to sleep with the understanding that if his fever persisted in the morning, we wouldn't be going to Long Island, as his grandparents were babysitting his little cousin for the weekend and he certainly didn't want to get her sick, or any of the other kids we were planning to see.
Fast forward to this morning. I got little sleep as I kept waking to check on him. He awoke this morning feeling much better and with no fever around 7 am. I thought we were golden and started packing bags and getting ready to go. It was around 9 am when I decided to check his temp again before I got him dressed. And then the hammer fell. His temp was back up to 100. I watched his face fall as I told him his fever was back and we wouldn't be able to go. I explained again about being a responsible older cousin and friend and how I was sure he didn't want to get anyone else sick. He agreed and even though I knew he was upset, he perked right up when I told him that he could have some extra iPad time since the best way to recover is to rest and take it easy.

Everything sounds great, right? You think my story is over, but it's not. This is where his autism comes into play. Around 1 pm, I hear crying coming from his room. I head in to see what's going on. He's standing in the corner with tears streaming down his face. I ask him why he's so upset and he says to me "Momma, I have a plan. I feel better. We can go to New York now or Yiayia and Papou can come here. Is that a good compromise?"  (Yiayia and Papou are Greek for grandma and grandpa). This poor child thought that we weren't going to NY because he thought his getting sick equated with a punishment. He commonly uses the compromise/"I have a plan" speak when he is in trouble and wants to get out of it. So for the next ten minutes I had to try to convince him that he did nothing wrong and that the only reason we weren't going to NY was because we didn't want anyone else to get sick. He kept telling me he couldn't calm down because he was too upset. I felt horrible and I tried to comfort him the best I could. I ended up using my last-ditch diversion technique that I save for bad meltdowns like this, which is a stash of new preferred toys/items in another room to divert his attention. Luckily, it worked and the sadness and depression was quelled.

I share stories like these so people can be more aware of what our life is like behind our closed doors. Life isn't always big cheesy smiles and funny stories. Sometimes, they include randomly finding my son crying in his room and knowing how to deal with it. I share so people can see that my son is a sensitive, loving child, who isn't perfect, but he tries so damn hard every day at everything he does. I love him in the happy times and in the sad times. Today was a rough day. But i wouldn't trade it for anything, because it's a day with Lex. And Lex is my everything.