After a recent unprovoked attack by a little known acquaintance, I realized something important. I don't say thank you enough. So here goes:
Thank you to all of you. Every one of you that reads this blog. You do something for me that you may not even realize. You support me in a way that I need more now than ever. You give me an outlet. Writing about my struggles with my son's autism allows me to release the stress that I used to keep bottled up inside me. You see, once I write about something that happens, it's pretty much forgotten about and my blood pressure drops and I feel so much better.
Having a support system is a very important thing. People who don't have anyone there to turn to tend to lash out at others when they get stressed out. They can be mean to others when they feel overwhelmed in their own lives. They sometimes use the stress that they feel welling up inside them as an excuse to take it out on someone else who might be in their path at that given moment. But you see, I don't want to be that person. I want to set a better example for my son. I want to take the higher road.
Thank you for taking the five or ten minutes to read what I write every time I have something happen in my life, whether it is good or bad, and I find the need to tell someone about it. Thank you for sharing the ups and downs in my and my son's life. Thank you for caring enough about us to take the time out of your day to selflessly read about us. I know that sometimes I can be "preachy" and sometimes I can be overly emotional. But hey, that's me. So from the bottom of my heart, and Lex's, thank you.
And besides, who doesn't love this face?
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
I Owe You A Thank You
Posted by Alison Faye at 1:24 PM 1 comments
Sunday, September 23, 2012
I cried tonight
Today I took my son Lex to the Yankees game. I won't lie, I was so excited. For the first time, he was excited to go. When I asked him a few days ago if he wanted to go to the game, he actually said yes. Usually, he would say no and whine until I would psych him up for it. So I was beyond excited.
You see, baseball, specifically the New York Yankees, is my number one past time. I love going to games. Watching the games. Listening to games. And right now they are in the hunt for a playoff spot. So I was thrilled to be taking him today to the game and have him actually look forward to it. Not only was I taking my son to the game, but my boyfriend Chris was also going (who admittedly does not enjoy the game, as he is a Brit and is a soccer (excuse me, football) fan) and my parents as well.
But it was not meant to be. Not even two pitches in and Lex was already not interested in the game. Within a half inning he was bored. Didn't want to be there. After an inning he asked to leave. It was all I could do to not cry right there. But I just tried to keep him occupied and happy. My mom took him for a walk, bought him some ice cream. Then Chris and I took him to the museum but it wasn't really doing any good. He wanted to leave. I got to see a few friends while we were there, which was nice, and they got to see Lex, which is always great. But we left right as the fifth inning ended. Lex saw maybe an inning or two.
On the drive home, I tried really hard not to cry. A few tears escaped as I explained to Chris that I was sad because I thought we had finally turned a corner because Lex had shown interest in going to the game. But it was just not so. I shook it off and gathered my composure.
But after I got home and put him to bed, I sat down and cried. I had really been looking forward to this. I had a bad few weeks. All I wanted was to enjoy a few innings of my favorite thing in the world with my son. But it just wasn't meant to be.
Hopefully next time it will be better. I may be disappointed, but I don't give up. And neither does Lex.
Posted by Alison Faye at 6:02 PM 0 comments
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Strangers Can Make Make Your Day Or Break It
In the last few months, there were two things that happened that affected my and my son Lex's life dramatically, one in a negative way and one in a positive way. Since I'm always "preaching" about awareness, I would like to share these with you so you can see how something that a stranger did changed the outlook of a day (or more than a day) for us.
Posted by Alison Faye at 4:20 PM 0 comments
Monday, March 19, 2012
I Wonder What People Know About Autism
Posted by Alison Faye at 5:08 PM 0 comments
Thursday, February 23, 2012
The Lure of the Sports Fan's Road Trip
Last year, it was seeing the Yankees play in Chicago against the Cubs.
This year, it's seeing the Yankees play in Kansas City against the Royals.
Hell yes.
Some of you may not understand this. The excitement over spending money to go to a city I'm unfamiliar with, to go to a stadium I've never been in, to watch a team I've seen play day after day, play against a team that's not really anything special (sorry Royals fans) may seem pointless and kind of stupid.
But to anyone who has been on a road trip strictly to watch your favorite sports team play, you get it. You understand my excitement. The thrill of entering a new ballpark that you've never seen. Trying a new "signature" food that you just have to have. Exploring the city in your "non-game" time.
This KC trip is four days long for me, and includes a game every single day. I simply can not wait. The thought of that much baseball in such a compressed amount of time excites me beyond belief. And the fact that I'm going to get to go with my friends just makes me even more excited.
As I'm writing this, I think there are about six of my friends who will be joining me in Kansas City, not counting my girlfriend who I'm staying with. Last year in Chicago, there were over a dozen of us who ended up congregating and enjoying each other's company for baseball, food, sights, and way too much booze. I'm betting this year's trip will be just as much fun as last year's and I can't wait to find out.
I. Can't. Wait.
Posted by Alison Faye at 6:14 PM 1 comments
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
How To Be Lex's Mom's Friend
One thing I've noticed in the past few years, especially since my son's autism diagnosis, is that I have come to rely on my friends more and more than I ever have. Many people did not realize that right around the time of my son's diagnosis, I also was going through a separation which then lead to divorce. Even less known was that I lost contact with some of my closest friends at this time, due to both of these events.
So here I was, venturing into a new phase of my life, pretty much on my own, with only my family and some old friends to support me. I was lucky enough to meet some new friends though within a short while and this was a very good thing for me, and have grown those friendships into ones that are near and dear to my heart to this day.
This made me stop and think. How can I help people be a better friend to me when it comes to Lex, since my life is a little, well, different? So here we go:
- Ask me about Autism. I once had a friend tell me "I don't know much about autism, can you tell me if there's anything I need to know before I meet him?" This touched me because that friend actually took the time to let me know that they wanted to make sure that they didn't do anything "wrong". Ask. I will be happy to answer any questions you have. No question is too simple or too complex. If I don't have the answer, there are websites I can direct you to that will help.
- Ask me about Lex. Ask anyone and they will tell you, I'm insanely in love with my son. I will brag about him from here to the moon. Every little improvement he makes, I would love to tell you about. Just listen. If you know me, I love to talk. I'm a New Yorker, remember?
- Invite us to things. One of the hardest things for me is that Lex doesn't have many friends outside of his daycare. Because both his father and I work, we don't socialize with the other parents in his preschool class and he doesn't get invited for playdates. Upon his diagnosis, I saw a quick decline in our inclusion in social events. Nothing hurts more than being excluded because people are afraid of something they don't understand, and especially when they take it out on a kid who has no idea that he's the one being punished.
- Don't assume or generalize. Many people think that Lex won't like something because they heard that autistic kids don't like that. That doesn't work because not all autistic children are the same. There is a autism spectrum and children can fall anywhere upon it, both on the low end and the high end. This means that they can be low or high functioning. Lex is actually on the low end of the spectrum which means he is high functioning.
- Please don't tell me you are sorry. I don't need your pity. I need your love and support. I'm proud of my son. The strides he has made with the challenges he has faced are pretty simply amazing.
- Be understanding if I don't see you often. I may not always have free time, but when I do, I love to live it up and get out. If you have spent any time with me, you definitely know this. But when I'm home with Lex, it's all about Lex. I like to plan fun things to do with him, but my motto is that if Lex is here, "it's always about Lex". I don't have a babysitter here in CT, so I spend a lot of time home in front of my computer at night, hence my Twitter "family".
I'm sure there is more, but for now, that's all I can think of. I love my friends and my family. You all mean the world to me. And maybe this will help me expand that world just a little bit more.
Lex and I welcome you to our world. And to put it simply - it rocks.
Posted by Alison Faye at 4:44 PM 0 comments